After work time

[Admin]

[Admin]

I feel better now, a bit better, slept for a while, just faded off, then woke up, wrote a bit, thought a lot, laid thoughts out, processed those thoughts and now feel better.

Basically, had to cleanse the mind of all the poison in it.

[Admin]

I think work can be toxic to us, in that when at work you can think about your problems, but you can't solve them.

Whereas when at home, it's easier to distract self from long periods of thought.

At work, your body is doing one thing but your mind is in another place.

Say if you drive for a living, well for 10 hours ect, all you can do is worry, yet have to focus on the job at hand, and it builds up into a straining tension inside.

Whereas when home, you're moving around, can drink, or eat or nap, or watch TV to keep those negative thoughts at bay, and or to simply solve what's on your mind by dealing with it directly.

Whereas at work you can't...and it's the 'can't', is what I do believe builds up so much tension inside.

[Admin]

It's Friday

It's Friday and I'm home alone like a geek.

What else can I say, just got off from work about an hour ago...settling in now, trying to shed the last 3 days of work/nothingness off of me.

Shedding the work skin and allowing my 'I'm free' self to emerge, but it can take a few hours.

Anyways, it's Friday, people are celebrating, couples are making love, me, home alone like a geek.

[Admin]

Heck, I may even give TV a try tonight.

[Admin]

Just got in, have to work tomorrow also, so can't do much with 1 hour before having to hit the hay sack.

If i were in a relationship I couldn't work a job that worked me this many hours.

And here's the thing, I drank yesterday and the day before, yet today, like after 12, my energy level was pretty good, and still is.

Trying to go sober has really increased my stamina, but I've been slipping back into drinking again, at times, when off from work, but I need to hold the line, I really do, cause I'm much more productive to self when sober.

When drinking or drunk, it only feels like I'm productive, but I'm not, I'm of way more use to self when sober, clean and healthy.

Anyways, I just got in, you know that feeling where your mind is in between here and there, everywhere and nowhere.

[Admin]

I think there comes a time in the day, after work, where you just gotta let your brain relax and do absolutely nothing.

It's hard for me to transfer self from blue collar mode to administrative mode, as I do when I get in.

the brain works doing both modes, but when I get home, and start working on my side projects, that's when creativity is required, and if the brain is wore out, I can feel the strain..so like tonight, I gotta work tomorrow, so why bother getting into other stuff, cause it just stresses the brain.
But I'm off Friday, so.

I mean even my mail has been piling up as of late, the older you get, the less you start caring about, or I should say you stop caring about the petty stuff, like junk mail.

[Admin]

Think I'll just lay back and watch my usual episode of the 'Mandalorian', series on Disney +, it's a good seriews about the culture of people Bubba Fett, from Star Wars derives from.

[Admin]

Hard for me to get into much, after work, do to getting back so late.

You can't force creativity, and is why on nights where I have to work the following day, I don't create much at all, cause time fly's when being creative, creating content, and just like that it's time for bed.

Some are so very lucky where they get paid to be creative all the time.

Also, not wise of me to be eating ramon noodles this late in the night, but sometimes, oh well, sometimes just feeling warm food slide down your throat helps soothe you, helps you not feel so alone.

what a lame post.