Trucking graveyard

[Admin]

Another scary thing about leaving trade you're familiar with

Whether it's trucking, plumbing, medical, farming, cashier, or cop, when you leave trade you're familiar with, the scariest realization is that when you leave what you know you're 'naked and raw' again.

You're vulnerable, in that you don't know a thing, like starting over from the 8th grade again.



When you walk away from your trade and into another, you know absolutely nothing, and are starting off at the bottom again, where people younger than you know more than you, and will more than likely be 'bossing' you around.

That situation alone is what keeps many glued to jobs they don't like, cause they've built up seniority, but when you leave know profession, say in your late 20's or 30's, 40's 50's even 60's, you're basically starting all over again and throwing away years, even decades of experience to start anew.

For some, that's very scary and un nerving.

In trucking, you don't have to think, problem solve.
What keeps many glued to trucking is that sure you could potentially earn more as manager or Real Estate agent or RV sales person, ect, but in those positions you actually have responsibilities, actually have to 'think' and be smart, as other people pay company you work for, for the expertise they expect you to have as an agent of that company.

That's to much responsibility for many drivers, who are conditioned to just showing up to work, laboring like a donkey and only having to worry about self.

Gripe, complain, and just worry about self.

Believe me, I was there, still am, as my transformation isn't complete yet.

I still need an income until other doors open up.

I just tell the real here.

I don't gloss nothing over, and is why all my blogs eventually end up getting lots of views, hits and eventually respect, cause I don't gloss nothing over and just share the real.

[Admin]

Back to work soon

I'll be leaving the comfort of home soon by jumping back 'out there' for extended periods of time, known as work.
Where life is very dangerous and you become a target to many, from DOT to reckless drivers, and other hazards.

This assignment is only temporary though, doing it for income and really nothing else.

A short term driving assignment, maybe a month or so, just enough to get sick of it again.
But kind of need a bridge employment period until hopefully other more permanent opportunity can open up.

Driving is just not in my long term future anymore.

I no longer see any benefit from driving long isolated shifts for hours upon hours.
Just sitting and driving for hours upon hours at a time seems like torture to me, and sitting above loud screaming engine, constant noise, rattling, for hours upon hours.

I don't even sit at home for hours upon hours, even at home I move around every few minutes.

I get jealous when I see how others in different careers have developed social lives and commradity around those they work around.

Trucking is just the opposite.
I mean when you step into just about any truck lobby, all the truckers seem defeated, unfriendly and anti social, all glued to their ear phones.

To old to care about anything or anyone around them.

What makes other industries more fun is that the people you work around, in your field, actually enjoy you, but in trucking, other drivers just seem soulless these days, never say hello, never seem enthused to see you walk into a room, no conversations, just a bunch of burned out types who want to be left alone or who enjoy complaining to dispatch but never take steps to change careers.

If you have enthusiasm and spirit, the environment can be deadening.

And not one I want to spend much or time in or around.

There is no energy in the labor part of trucking anymore, just zombies who do what they're told.

In trucking, most drivers look like they're at the end of something bad, rather than the beginning of something good.

I wish trucking attracted people in their 20's rather than people in their 50's or 60's, or 30's who look like they're in their 60's.

The people I wish I could most work around are techies, geeks who invent things, they seem excited about what they do, are young, and or young minded, and like to have fun still.

The opposite of truck drivers. (truckers of old were very cool and full of personality)

Truckers walk past you and don't say hi or anything, even those in same company, they just walk right past you with headset in talking to who knows who, oblivious to the needs of others around them.

It's a socially cold environment.

And it will never ever stop bothering me and is why I constantly write about it until I'm completely out of it.

[Admin]

Still driving, for now, but only temporary.

Still same rugged, physically abusive environment.

Was with driver today that weighed half a ton, and is do for __________ soon to fix that issue.

Super duber nice...

I'll fill you in on the details later, but even Subway Sandwich shop involved...Oh I could tell you some stuff.

later...I thought I was in the mood to write about it all, but not...

[Admin]

Just another day

I work tomorrow, actually a out of towner type of trip, but I don't mind, cause I'll be in a hotel...big wow.

And then come back following day.

I'll do that twice a week if all works out, in other words I'll be getting all my hours out of the way in 4 days, I'll know schedule, for a short bit, and be able to plan around that.

Nothing depresses me more than having a job where you wake up, and don't know when they're gonna request you come it, that is the most depressing feeling, at least for me.

I like absolution, at least when it comes to labor jobs.

I like to know when I'm on, and when I'm off, and don't bother me in between.

I think I've earned that after all these years.

This is only a 'bridge' job and realize I still must transition into something else more to my liking, if I ever plan on being happy ever again.

To be honest, I've never ever fit in as a trucker, never been your standard trucker and have always seen myself more as a celebrity, who is forced to truck until something better came along, like Elvis did.

But unlike Elvis, it just never happened for me.

It would be like David Lee Roth driving a truck.

I'm just not your typical John Deere type trucker who's happy and content doing this forever, who has wife at home, small feet's raised ect.

I've never been that type of trucker.

If anything I'm more of a punk rock type of trucker, an alternative culture odd ball type of truck, who has always felt foreign in this environment.

I work out, do my best to keep in shape, and still look fairly young.

I guess you could say I'm still chasing my youth, and not ready to surrender it yet.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

They wanted me to team the other day, and I said 'no', that I wasn't ready for that.

I can only imagine the type of John Deere, or southern version of that, type of driver they'd stick me with for 3 days.

Look, I'm in shape, I'm fit, and look young.

Most drivers, OTR drivers, are not fit, look years beyond their romanceual peak, and are a bore to me.

Most drive up and down the road all day listening to talk radio, think they have all the answers to the world, think they know you better than you know yourself, and just view the world in a way I do not.

Nor am I trying to get stuck in truck, teaming, with some bearded Santa Clause looking moe foe.

Gross.

Like I said, I still look young and romancey, Hollywood or Corporate, not trying to team with a Uncle Jessie type for 3 days.

They would be happy to see me, and my fit body, but I would only get depressed seeing them, and my future of getting old which I run from daily.

These guys have been married for so long that they forget what it is, what it means, to be 'romancey'.

Cause their wives never leave them, so they no longer have to compete.

As such become slobs, or slobby looking, and if ever divorced, unless they cleaned up their acts, no woman would ever want them, (outside of any money they could sham from them).

Any women can pretend to love you if she thinks you have money.

Anyways, long post where I've basically said nothing, just got up, one more full day off, and loving it.

[Admin]

Holiday blues?

I stay in this field only to pay bills, but still find it so ever depressing.

Trucking is one of the few industries where the more experience you have, the less it matters.

You're simply wanted, treated, as labor, with no input from brain wanted or desired.

'Just drive you fool'

My blogs garner so many views cause I say, speak, the real that other drivers feel on the inside, but or conditioned not to say or express, where as I'm a wild card.

I don't care, I realize life is short, and you've better express what's on your mind while you can, cause once dead, the second, micro second after you're dead, never again will you ever be able to express anything in real time ever again.

Doesn't matter if white, black, red, green, once dead it's all over, at least in this world.

Until someone can obtain eternal life in the present, than no one is better than the other.

A human is no better than a ant, in that both die, have limited life span.

It's as if death is the ultimate arbitrator.

whether the 'n' word or British Royalty, in the end nothing matters if both are captured by death where memory and consciousness dies, is gone forever.

Anyways back to trucking.

I'm not your average trucker, never have been, never will be, ever, and proud of it.

I appreciate what truckers do, the John Deere types, plaid shirt wearing types do, cause I do it to, I just do it with a different attitude, but it's just not me.

I want to be more than that, am meant to be more than that, have always been meant to be more, at least in my own mind.
And your own mind is sometimes all you got.

Tomorrow I gotta go stay at some hotel in South Carolina...lay over..

I volunteered, cause it's a set schedule, and figured the change may do me some good, although I've come to hate hotel/motel rooms.

Bed bugs are my major concern now, and not to mention hotel/motel rooms are where they always shoot cheap porn movies in.

Gross.

I wish I were very young and dumb still, when I didn't think of such stuff, when I use to think staying in a hotel room was 'cool'.

I really do miss that side of me, when I was super young and dumb and just enjoyed life, enjoyed everything life presented.

I wish I could hypmotize myself into being young and dumb again, and simple minded.



'You are young and dumb again, life is still fun, everyone loves and likes you, the future is yours, you have forever to figure things out, everything will be OK, one day you'll be successful, and you love trucking still, you love being around hairy redneck types, racist types, who think the whole world is the Grand Ole Opry'

[Admin]

Trucking, where you can run your ___ off, get back, and all accomplishments from days efforts erased or ignored once paper work handed in

Every trucker has been there, where you run balls to the walls, break every log book rule, neglect bathroom breaks, just to get load delivered on time.

You arrive, excited at making it on time, barely, you go up to window to hand in paper work and nothing

You find yourself looking through glass partition at someone who sees absolutely no value in you, your life, or what you just accomplished.

To them you're just mindless labor.

They make you wait, they don't even acknowledge you at first (do to their sickening ego).

90% or more of the time, they've never driven a truck in their life, company or owner operator.

Suddenly all the built of excitement you had wanes as the reality of trucking once again hits you, and that is your efforts are never appreciated.

People are hired, placed in office, who do not appreciate you, what you do, or what you risk.

To them you're just a number, a dumb number at that, with barely a IQ above GED level.

Unlike other trades like Plumbing or engineering ect, once run is complete, there is no record of it anymore...unless you record it yourself, if not, there's no record of anything.

Once 'hot' run is complete you simply go back to being a zero in the whole logistics chain.

Someone whom they think needs a job, and will never ever leave.

[Admin]

Death food

Yes, I'm still trucking, but only on temporary assignment or assignments.

But one thing I notice that still hasn't changed is the whole 'death food' market that surrounds interstates, and truck stop areas, and rest areas.

It's all death food.

What I mean by that is I'm normally at home, cook own food, by own groceries, eat healthy....fruit, salads, ect, no sodas at all at home, make own juice free of chemicals ect.

But I notice as soon as you go out, even if only for two days, nothing but 'death food' is available to eat.

Death food would be

1. Candy

2. Hot dogs/corn dogs/tortias at Pilots and loves.

3. Soda, flavored soft drinks, energy drinks.

4. Chips, cookies, donuts, pastries...all fake, made from fake ingredients, processed.

5. Energy drinks, red bull, 5 hours, coffee energy drinks in a can ect.

6. Fast food, Arby's, Wendy's, BK ect

Death food aligns the path of truckers.

Truckers work long hard hours, stress bodies, then are only offered death foods to eat along the way.

No grocery stores near interstates, not fresh fruits sold at truck stops...accept apples, bananas and oranges.

Truckers are nourishing themselves on death food while flying down interstate at 70 m.p.h.

I know, cause I was just out there tonight, and nothing but death food available to eat.

So glad I'm home now.

Much more to follow as this thread is about to get much more detailed, with pictures and all.

[Admin]

The night before

The night before having to go out, on the road, for a short period, just overnight, feels totally awful to me.

There is nothing out there on that lonely road that will make my life a bit better in the slightest bit.

Dispatchers from other terminals totally suck, are unfriendly, and make you feel totally un appreciated.

I dread tomorrow.

Have no use for tomorrow, have no use to leave comfort of nice quiet place and place myself 'out there', where value to others will be reduced to about zero.

Oh well...tomorrows coming whether I want it to or not, least I can do is enjoy few remaining awkake minutes of this night.

[Admin]

Just got back from weekend road trip, and every minute of it sucked.

Sorry, but it did.

There's nothing 'out there' for me anymore at my developmental stage.

Nothing.

And for me sitting and driving for 10 hours or so is torturous.

The only satisfaction I get anymore is at least knowing can do trip successfully without wrecking.

But that aside, nothing out there, just other depressed older looking drivers.

[Admin]

Nothing beats being home

I'm sorry, but nothing beats being home.

In trucking, the worst feeling in the world (after you've become burned out) is that whole half way home, half way on the road feeling.

Where you're home for a day or two, or half a day, but know at any many could be yanked away back on road assignment, even if short.

If I weren't here today I would not have been able to help neighbor get their car going, and then while following them home their vehicle stalled at intersection.

If I wasn't there, they would of had to call tow truck, ect, cops would of come ect.

They're older and on fixed income.

My being here was a 'blessing' to them.

And it's little moments like this that add up, that create memories, that create life.

But when away from home, you're away from all of that, and reduced to nothing more than a stranger to everyone you encounter.

You're reduced to nothing more than labor, mindless labor, a number, or as some one put it the other night 'A bar code'...a soulless bar code.

I value my home time.

And realize there's nothing I can ever do at this stage that will impress anyone with my labor.

Glass ceilings, walls, are set.

NO matter how smart, intelligent, they only need you for your labor, like a mule.

Oh well, gotta do what you gotta do to pay bills, until hopefully things change.