Reset button

[Admin]

I'm tired of outside work, as in having a mindless labor job.

I should like just rent out extra room, and get a roommate, ect, and just simplify my life.

I don't know.

Jobs?
Who invented that crap?

[Admin]

I need to rebuild my both physical and mental health, so I think I'll start now by exercising.

[Admin]

I'm going to do my best to 'reset' my life, for my own sake, cause I've learned others could care the less how you feel on the inside, in fact, most prefer a train wreck, so they can compare their own life against yours.

And so when laying in bed at night feeling terrible due to maybe drinking to much, ect, no one cares.
You're there alone and no one cares....no one cares about 'your' pain, so what's the point of being in pain?

Better to be in health, and be hated or unliked, than to be in pain and be hated and or unliked.

[Admin]

sometimes you really have to hit an emotional, eternal bottom, in order for the reset button within to activate.

[Admin]

Should I join Face Books new 'threads' social media site?

Am I going to join Face Books new 'threads' social media site?

Nah.

Why not?

Cause it's because of social media, and the lack of accountability to other real-life people, is why my life is as empty as it is today, and not sure how rushing to join 'Threads' will change anything.

I just don't know how to work social media to my favor, never really have, maybe cause I'm always the wrong gender, wrong color, wrong age, wrong style, I don't know, social media has just never worked for me.

Then you get drunk and say a bunch of stupid stuff while on there.
My life is empty today, because of social media, threads will not make my life any better....trying to get followers, trying to impress others, or algorithms, it's all just a waste of my time now.

If my life is to have meaning going forward, I'm going to have to start engaging in the real world again...maybe find a mate, start a family, ect, go on regular real-life vacations, with real people, ect.

But I do believe all this online social media stuff has ran it's course with me, other than places like here, which is more like a private online diary.

[Admin]

I do, terribly bad, need a reset moment in my life right now.
Things have never felt so empty to me as they have now, for the last few weeks, after giving up a show I was doing, a self sponsored show, meaning I was paying to be on air, but it was fun, and gave me purpose, but seems it gave me purpose that only I appreciated, so I stopped paying for it.

I'm ust not tied into people who matter and who have means, no one cares what I have to say, or who I am.

As such though, I'm still here, still alive, have life in me, so question to self is 'What are you going to do with that life while still here, alive and relatively healthy?'

And that's a questions I've been wrestling with for weeks.

To be honest, I've ust lost a lot of passion for things I used to have passion for.
Maybe now, I ust seek love, but even that's hard to obtain or I would of had it by now.

Seems the worst way to surely destroy your life is to get into a bad relationship.
Bad relationships, when you allow others to have control over your emotions, seems to be how people literally end up destroying themselves, yet we weren't meant to be alone, so how does one strike a balance?

No easy answers, cause all relationships are a gamble, you really only know your own intent, and have no idea what the other person is capable of or could be scheming.

[Admin]

My life doesn't have any direction right now. I don't even know what to plan for anymore, other than old age.
But until then, what?

Came very close to moving this last lease cycle, but didn't, probably should have, should of ust got the enibidable out of the way.
(This new browser doesn't have spell check, I guess spell check or ect, I guess it intrudes into your privacy, but still, I kind of miss it, and may try to reactivate that feature)

Anyways, kitchen is a mess, always a mess.
I have a dishwasher here, but have never used it.

[Admin]

I've really gotta begin rebuilding my life, I've got to get my mind and body right, again, if I expect to take on upcoming challenges, cause life isn't getting any easier, that's for sure.

I still have one parent on this earth, and I need to battle up, one more time, in order to fulfill my role as a son.
My life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, but for whatever reason I'm still here, so at least I can try to help another, or others, to give what few healthy years I have left, meaning.

[Admin]

Drinking needs to go, drinking doesn't help me anymore with anything, not one single thing, it needs to go.
I need my mind and wits to be strong, fortified in order for me to function properly and make sound decisions.

The world is not getting any nicer or easier to exist in, but it's worse if not of sound mind, body and soul, that's for sure.

[Admin]

Drinking at night, has caused me to basically sleep away or waste two perfectly good off days, drinking, and or the after effects of, totally cut down on productivity, and that's for sure.
Anyways, I'm still here, so it's never to late to 'wake up', and do better, with whatever time one has left.