Today

[Admin]

If I were smart and responsible, I'd do the following in this order

1. Pay rent, just face the fact that my lease has been renewed half heartedly, that they did it automatically without consulting with me, nor have I reached out to them, the leasing office, cause wasn't sure I wanted to stay...so kept putting it off.
Normally I'd just be kicked out, but do to them being desparate to keep tenants, they just assumed I wanted to stay.

But yeah, that's the big thing I should do first to ease my tension.

2. Pay storage rent, I should get that out of the way next.

3. Pay internet bill

Those are the big 3 things that I should knock off first if I was responsible and adult like, and would just face my fears and dreads instead of always running from them as if they'll go away if I just ignore them long enough.

So maybe I'll just do that, face my fiscal fears...my money is my size and the less money I have, the smaller I feel.

[Admin]

It's Friday night, and I feel very relaxed right now, for some reason



It's Friday night, around 9 pm, and I feel very relaxed right now for some reason.
Is there ever really a reason to feel relaxed anymore?
Well, right now I do, and not sure how long it'll last.

Haven't worked in a while, not sure what tomorrow will bring, but there's still something always soothing about the first hours of the weekend when all the business vipers are asleep.
I know today, everything is 24/7, but still the weekends, mainly Friday and Saturday, just feel like a safety zone from it all.
Stuff you can put off until Monday when the dreaded machine reawakens.

But as of now, this moment, I still feel calm. But like most, my mood or moods can change on a dime, for the better or worse, usually for the worst.
Sometimes just what you eat can change your mood in a good or bad way.
Bad food with toxic chemicals, can bring you down, good healthy food can bring you up.

No booze in my system, that's one reason I feel so calm, without booze in my system, body is better able to absorb nutrients that effect our moods.

Anyways, since not drinking, I'll be able to get more done this night than I normally would if had drank earlier.
I think should the day come, the season come, when I stop drinking, like could be like heaven for me.
I realize now heaven comes from within, cause when in the right calm mood and have the right outlook, you can tolerate just about anything.
And it helps if your environment is quiet so you can relax.

It's Friday, Nov 1st of 2024

[Admin]

Sunday



It's Sunday.

I'm not in the best of moods, but not in the worst of moods either, just kind of here.
Have energy, yes, but my mind is burdened.

Haven't enough time to fill you in on everything, but as usually, stress usually comes from the feeling of running out of both money and time...and that's what I'm dealing with.

On the door front of possible a innovative money making idea, but then here comes time and money...running out of both.
And the idea of returning to some gdm low wage job, which will eat up all my energy and time, annoys the living hell out of me.

To go back to being reduced to a wage earner, someone low level mindless employee is a hellish proposition to me, especially when on the verge of possibly becoming a millionaire soon.

A millionaire vs some low level slave job, you'd be frustrated to if you saw the stakes.

Anyhow, one day at a lousy time I suppose.

[Admin]

Coming soon!



Coming soon!

[Admin]

I haven't drank in a few days, maybe 3-4?

Not losing any weight as of yet.
Been a bit ill also, like stints of feeling hyper drowsy after eating certain food.

spent big money today getting new tires, alignment, balanced...dam.

My moral is getting tore apart right now.

Trump won the election...I'm glad his life is going so well, mine doesn't feel like it is.

If someone wants to call me, and I don't answer the phone, if they're to stupid to leave a text and state who they are and what they want, well shame on them...cause I don't answer dry calls.

Getting some straning 817 number from Texas area....I don't know anyone out there.
They left a message but to me they sound like a mumbling fool.

Not only that, in all my adult life, no one ever calls to help me, ever...it's always me who's burdened with helping others, so f it....I don't have to answer since no one ever helps me.

I need to go wash my car here soon.

[Admin]

Time to get up, as the world and other people, and the devil, and maybe even god are all waiting to smack me in the face and slowly destroy my dreams and ambitions.

Time to get up and get beat up by life.