Diary of a ghost

[Admin]

I've gotta figure out what's important to me right now, cause it seems I'll start something and then lose passion for it within minutes, what's that a symptom of?

For instance, I use to love podcasting, now, the idea of spending 2 hours preparing a quality 5-30 minute podcast totally seems like a waste of time to me...why is that?

Is it cause I know in the end very few will listen anyways, and even if they do, so what, nothing will change?

But in the past I knew that, but it didn't matter, but now it does and dampens my enthusiasm...why the change within me?, I ask myself.

When had radio show on this online platform, would like pump out 3-4 shows per week, took up all of my time, but now, no way...maybe cause I had 'show schedule' and maybe I do best when 'scheduled' to do something, where as with podcasting, there is no schedule, you just upload show, and hope random people listen to it and or have to promote it yourself, but with today's information flow control, even that can be limiting, so you have to have a personal passion for it, regardless of how others respond to it or how many may read or see it.

I still have that for writing, but not for podcasting, and I wonder why?

Have I given up on others?...do I now only care about myself mainly?

I don't know.

I mean just ordered like $600 plus in broadcast stuff, and have barely touched it.

I guess I'm wondering where that ignition switch is inside of me for certain things anymore.

Like I use to have fun creating You Tube videos, until realize YT totally limits the amount of views you get now, and that they only promote popular videos or those who 'pay to play', so could spend days creating a video and only get 3 views....it wasn't always like that, in the past your video would appear on random searches, now days, on the side bar, you only see 'sponsored searches'...and I find that sickening....the same popular commercialized video get looped over and over again, that's greed for you, and once again the little guy shoved aside, and the ironic thing about it is social media originally created for the 'little guy and gal' who didn't have access to Hollywood ect.

Sadly, today, Hollywood ect, has taken over social media, and once again the little people are shoved aside.

Is that's what has killed my enthusiasm, that new reality?

I don't know, it didn't seem to bug me a year ago..

The ultimate selfish thing for me to do would be to get a very new or brand new sports car and just say 'screw everyone else'...hmm

[Admin]

What gets me is how supposed 'Christians' will cruise adult sites, just to see how 'shocked' they can get or be...think about that.

They will cruise sites I won't even cruise, just to see how 'shocked' they can be in the name of 'god' and then talk about it on their radio show...what?

As if it was some valuable visual field trip or something?

Religion tends to make people more dishonest rather than honest, from what I've observed.

[Admin]

Nothing more romanceier than Mike Tyson in his prime

[Admin]

Happy Easter



Heck, Happy Easter, why not, this place here sure could use some Easter magic.

[Admin]

Hooked Wide screen, flat screen, TV to computer



Hooked TV to computer for a larger view, and I didn't like it...

1. Way to bright, cord was short so screen like under two feet from face, felt like eyes were being fried...I guess I need a longer cord.

2. Screen size deminsions off, and again, I guess that's something I'd have to adjust ahead of time on the TV

3. Colors way to bright

Both this TV and computer are over 5 years old, so neither were really made for each other and I know technology has changed a lot since buying TV and computer and I'm sure a modern large extended monitor would probably yield better results and be more computer friendly.

But for now, happy with smaller sized better resolution computer screen.

[Admin]

Also, I think what Major League Baseball did by moving All Star game out of Georgia was a bad move.

Not sure why sports always trying to appeal to the 'activist class', instead of to their own fans.
Many who are into sports are pretty regular common types, not hardcore left or right, just common types, and sports needs to stop shoving politics down their throats, in my humble opinion.

[Admin]

Run DMC and Aerosmith.....sorry, just have to pause to reflect on this goofy, yet fun era from those coming of age during this generation



Oh my gosh, back when life, Mtv, such a simply pup.

[easyrider]

Not everyone thrilled about 'Mothers Day'

twylightzone.boards.net/thread/3/factors-blog-journal?page=73&scrollTo=13071

Interesting read.

[Admin]

Got to leave place today for a minute, how depressing.

When home, I like to stay home, don't like going to the bank, the store, anywhere.

I drive around enough as it is when at my job.

Dealing with people and personalities is just a pain now.

It just seems I always get looked at like I'm strange, and everyone seems scared and 'shaky'.

I hate or dread stepping out into the public anymore, cause everyone perceives you in a different way.

You're not even really 'you', rather you're simply how other's perceive you.

Not sure if there's a certain 'look' you're suppose to have that would make others just see you as a decent person and smile instead of frown or look skeptical back at you.

If there is such I look, I wish I had it.

[Admin]

When get older, and actually care about how you look, and how others perceive you, than stepping out of the 'house', meaning 'your place' can seem like a event, and even wear you out before you leave, in that whether a male or female, if care about your looks, it takes time to prepare for public consumption of your looks.

No one who cares about self wants to walk out front or back door looking like a slob...I know I don't.

so, even just to go up to corner store means

1. What to wear?

2. Fixing up hair

3. Fixing up face

At minimum 20 minutes of preperations, unless just naturally beautiful all the time, and I certainly envy those who are just naturally 'cute', regardless of gender, or naturally 'handsome' regardless of time of day.

Those people who can just rise right out of bed and step outside and still look 'A-OK' to the world...I'm not one of those, sad to say.

I'm the type that I need maintanance on self before I step out into the public...cry out loud.

Oh well, let me get started.