All it took was one ugly insect on shelf to make me now want to 'cleanse' it, which means throwing everything on shelf out or away or packing it into a box.
I don't even want to say what type of insect it was as to not even give it, or the spirit that put it there, the glory of name recognition.
Sprayed after sickening insect jumped onto some bottles, sprayed area with household chemicals, bleach, Raid and more, nothing could have, should have survived that, but when removed bottles, this sick insect wasn't there.
Which makes me even more determined to clear out shelf, and throw all papers, and any other stuff away so that grimy critters can't hide within the midst.
And there's similar parallels to real life.
The more you clean up your life, the less hiding spaces for 'critters' to dwell in the mess, so best to keep things simple, clean and focused.
Now where's my garbage can cause I have a lot of stuff to discard.
It's hard to be alone, and a male in this world at times, in that you have absolutely no one, nothing, to confide in, no where to go emotionally when feeling doubtful, no where to go for a reassuring hug.
Everyone expects you to be strong and hard, and to not care about little things.
Turned on news for about 10 seconds this morning and all they're doing is looping the tragedies of last week over and over again.
Looping and playing again and again the screams of Nice France tragedy, looping and playing over and over again the failed coupe attempt in Turkey, earning money, viewership, sponsors, from re looping tragedies over and over again, so I just turned TV right back off.
At least for now I don't want to be apart of any news shows ratings when all they're doing is looping tragedy over and over again...then if not the tragedies of past week, they go back to previous week and loop those tragedies over and over again.
Life is full of tragedy, we've been touched by it, will be touched by it again, but between my own personal tragedies I don't need to spend my time consumed with the tragedy of others, while eating popcorn.
When you write a letter to someone, they may never even open it up.
When you email someone, they may delete it after reading, all your thoughts thrown away in an instant.
But when you blog, thoughts aren't so easily disposed of, are there, for a very long time, for others to read, comprehend and or relate to over hours, days, weeks, years and even decades or longer.
Blogging your thoughts give your thoughts a much longer shelf life than bungling all your thoughts and passion to 1 specific individual, who'll simply bury your sentiment or hide it from others.
Cave writings last a lot longer, seen, read by way more than if same cave writings had been written on paper and sent to one individual who would of simply thrown your thoughts away after they read it.
I don't mind people who witness for their church, but do get annoyed by how most do it.
Please, if knock on door, don't ask me this question
'Do you know Jesus?, are you saved?
First off, doubt there's a person alive on this planet who doesn't know of 'Jesus', either through school, being brought up in church early on, or just through popular media or the holidays, or own parents instilling taking you to church while young, and maybe embracing 'Christ' on own personal life early on, and or maybe still into salvation.
But when they knock on your door, they just assume you've been living in a vacuum all your years alive, and never heard of Jesus, the bible, scripture, nothing, as if just landed from the moon.
For those who witness, don't treat others as if so dead dumb, you start off on the wrong foot by doing that and seem plastic.
It's not 'Jesus' most people have issues with, it's administrations that represent him, in all their different forms, ideologies, and theories, and practices.
Most don't, or didn't, run from 'Jesus', they ran or run from the above.
Most people just want to meet other people whom they can trust, of like mind, whether these people center around Christ or aviation or playing pool.
When knocking on someone door, and 'witnessing', should know this ahead of time.
People are struggling with a lot today, bills, debt, unemployment, and last thing many need to hear by a stranger is that on top of everything else 'you' the witness, think they're going to 'hell' cause in 5 minutes of discussion they haven't convinced you otherwise.
Get real people.
And be better prepared if knocking on someones door to 'witness'.
I have to go sign lease again, for another year, I was so holding out, hoping I wouldn't have to, so hoping that when this time came my fiscal fortunes would be so good that I could leave, but not so, still stuck in fiscal hell, so to speak.
Earn enough to not be on the streets, but not enough to get ahead on pay check alone.
It's like being in fiscal purgatory. (A term made up here on the spot)
Yes, fiscal purgatory, where you're just stuck, can't move, can't do nothing other than pay basic bills and hope nothing major goes wrong.
Sometimes actually losing all, or getting fired, is what you need, in that it forces you then to seek new opportunities beyond comfort zone.
Sometimes comfort zones can work against us, make us not want to take chances anymore, and chance taking is the only way most get ahead.
I guess I'm OK with staying here a bit longer, I just hate paper work, trying to put this off, hate signing crap, hate having crap explained to me that I already know.
When rich, you don't have to worry about any of the small details.
I could be rich, or wealthier again, if I'd get off me but and find some motivation, but again being rich requires taking risks, and risk puts stress on thy mind and body.
I'm not wealthy now, but at least not stressing, so there's a bit of a trade off.
I've been everything, rich, poor, middle class, low class, homeless, homeowner, land owner, and barely making it...
That's life for most, it's not some steady graphic line upward unless life well planned...for some it is, I guess, but for me it's not.
Right now I'm poor, but comfortable, hardly no stress, and I like that, cause it's good for my health, keeps me young, can workout and do.
I've seen what stress does to people, how it changes their physical appearance, makes their hair grey, makes them grouchy.
I'm not accomplishing much right now, but at least I'm not stressing out over stuff, not earning much, but nor am I losing 1000's, like back when was a contractor.
So again you have to weigh it all, but eventually I will get back in 'the game'...
Have to, cause have to build 'cushion' eventually or will come back to bite you when older.