Diary of a ghost

[Admin]

Very long time

Wow, it's been a very long time since I checked in here...mind has just been other places.

I do internet radio now, and just find radio, broadcasting, for more stimulating to the mind, and rewarding, than all the previous years of blogging.

There's no rush like hearing self on live radio, even though shows are pre recorded, still the 'rush'...nothing like it, at least for myself since into stuff like that.

I try to keep what I do on air, and these forum blogs separate, as of now in that each medium provides separate needs.

I realize now I'll never be 'popular' or famous, and that's OK...wasted way to many years in the greyish blue collar world working around greyish dull personalities and a grey environment.

We all eventually get old, wear out and fade.

But at least I've found a new spark in online broadcasting.

Never really been into the youtube thing...although now many make decent checks on youtube, assuming their videos get a lot of 'hits' or views.

I never plaster real self online anywhere, even when the net was new, something just told me not to ever plaster real or unedited pics of self online.

All images of self I do plast online are altered or edited in some way shape or form.

I really don't promote these blog forums anymore, the net is just not the same, everything on twitter, FB, it's all controlled now, one doesn't get same views one did before twitter and FB was monetized and overly politicized.

Now, unless say the correct political thing, your post views are oppressed, or what they call 'shadow banned' (or something like that) where other people ability to see what you post is greatly narrowed...this has even made the news, in that it's occurred to many famous people who have a 'right' political leaning.

And to me if one can't post their true thoughts, on FB or twitter, than what's the point?

I'd rather post here, in that views are about the same, to be honest, even when I don't promote.

But maybe one day I'll give these forums a mention on my radio show, just to see what happens.

But to be honest, all that would do is attract the curious, the mean and the cruel.

Humans are as shallow now as we were 1000 years ago, nothing has change, we're still small and very unaccepting of others who aren't from our 'village' of thought or culture.

Anyways, time to wrap this up, maybe since have 3 day weekend, may visit again soon.

[Admin]

Yes, it's been a long while since I posted here, every forum has a totally different tone and mood to it, like stepping into different rooms or emotional seasons.

Like most, I've been off for 4 days just enjoying the solitude, (most probably around family, friends, me, I have none, so spent whole time dead alone)

What did I eat on T-Day, a burrito and a turkey sandwich I bought at corner store the day before...about what I had last year I think.

Not much has changed in me life, for a while I was broadcasting on a online radio show, but that ended a few weeks ago, is why having been writing like I use to, the online show took up all of my creative time and energy, with no better results than blogging, actually, and that's why I just had enough.

Writing has always been my first love actually, and if not so lazy or impatient I'd write a book, but books, even ebooks, take time, and it's hard to spend weeks, maybe months on a writing project when can just write in a few minutes and post.

In the past some books took years, even decades to write, I mean who has that type of patients anymore?

I wish I did actually, have that type of patience.

As far as jobs, going forward seeking passive income type jobs, just sick of dead end 9-5 or shift work type of jobs, just not trying to go that route anymore.

The older I get the less accountable I want to be to others.

Easier said than done, I mean we all have a ton of ideas, but earning off our ideas is the trick or nack that few have.

So much has changed yet nothing has in that I'm still like a ghost wondering through my environment.

[Admin]

I don't to much eat meat anymore

I don't to much eat meat anymore, but every now and then just get that craving (I guess I'm a savage beast animal after all)(Then what of the one who created us?)(now sure will get struck by lightening)

Anyways

Every now and then just get taste for beef steak, red meat, body craves it at times, during times of emotional stress.

Lions eat meat, and 'we' love them, but to some let a human eat meat, and we're the devil.

Not sure if 'God' is good, but really beginning to think 'God' is practical, and maybe not as loving and kind and gushy as some have been told.

Anyways, tearing up slender steak right now, to satisfy my carnal side.

[Admin]

I have no place to lay down thoughts in here, in this particular forum Mansion, not really configured properly for my broad style, may need to reconfigure this forum blog, a bit, over the weekend.

And with that, goodnight, and happy new year, I suppose.

Same o same o, as far as most are concerned, back soon.

[Admin]

Diary of a ghost, which is you

You have 'fakes' and then you have 'us' or me, myself and I...check out this song, I so love it, we so love it, cause it's totally real life.



Life is so hard, ugly and brutal, for all....yet moments of 'beauty' scattered in between.

One day, you know what, some dense college student will write books based on my posts.

Sad that you have to first die though, in order to have 'worth' in the eyes of the insecure.

[Admin]

It's sad when you start looking ugly to yourself

It's sad when you start looking ugly to yourself, I mean ultimately time is everyone's enemy, time is enemy to thine own flesh, no matter what.

So enjoy your 'look good to self' years while you can, cause after that only 'love and character' will validate your person going forward when the 'Oh, I look so good' phase wears off.

Some people just look good no matter what, it seems. Some people just take good photos, no matter what, it seems.

I mean you could hang some upside down, they still look good, take good photos; you could throw mud in the face of some and they still look cute, handsome or pretty; they look good in the morning, night, evening, no matter what some are just blessed with good looks all the time.

Others, others, bad skin tone, and need the most perfect of lighting to look decent to self, or need 1-30 pics, in order to find one that's acceptable.

Being thin, (not old age sickly thin) always helps with looks, cause the thinner your face is, the less gravity has to pull down and sag.

But there are even some who look good, even when fat or chubby.

Today, me, I looked in mirror, looked at self through smart phone lens, and was like 'Oh what's the use, my time to shine is over'...

Looks really only matter to self though in that look around the world, and usually the most powerful people calling the shots don't look all that good, it seems ugly people rule over those who look good.

Oh well, I still wish I looked good to 'self', and I emphasize self cause when you look good to self, confidence just seems to soar.

Even if you look good to self, yet ugly to others, you're insulated from their thoughts.

Looking, appearing, good to self is really all that matters.

[Admin]

It's time for bed, I so neglect this here particular blog forum, it's my special baby, but I neglect it by not posting enough here...I'll try to change that soon by posting more relevant stuff.

But this forum really does kind of remind me of background them, in that it rose out of ashes, faded memories of the past, it use to be a totally different themed forum, I gave it a complete make over a few years ago, it was totally about trucking and drivers, and highway life....oh the memories, oh the times.

Now, I'm just not sure where to take this forum, kind of like 'My Space' and how they totally recreated their platform a few times.

I'll think of something, and with that goodnight.

[Admin]

America is the most socialist nation on the planet, is why so many able to prosper 'here', even if without talent or skill, still fed and housed...duh

You heard it hear first, like that matters, but get sick of talk radio hosts saying how so against socialism they are, when America is the most, by far, socialist nation on this planet (well maybe some Northern European nations ahead of ranking)

But for Conservatives to pretend that America is not Socialist, already, tells me how dense they are.

On the other hand, it's nations like N Korea, Venezuela, Cuba, ect, they're not socialist, is why 90% of their populations is starving.

Think about what you just read people, if capable of thinking anymore.

America is the most tax based, spread the wealth, socialist nation that has ever existed since the beginning of civilization.

Nations like N Korea ect, their not socialist, their simply ran by a few leaders, or families at the top that 'hoard' all the wealth....hording is not 'socialism, it's simply 'hoarding all the wealth', and calling it socialism by the dumb.

[Admin]

Yep, it's sure been a while, but still here, just been hanging out in other places.

Life can either get happier or creepier as you age, just depends on 'you', how you planned things.

But even well intentioned plans can go wrong.

Also depends on your social circle, if you even have one at all.

And even if do everything right, correctly, sad how others, in the shadows, will sabotage your efforts out of jealousy or resentment.

They'll lie about you, or mess up your 'work' on purpose, and not tell the 'boss' or whomever you're trying to impress.

People are rotten, regardless of color or age or gender or orientation, most people are simply snakes.

And if old, ugly and poor, you really have no value to society.

But if you're old, ugly and rich or super wealthy, everyone pretends to adore you.

Staying motivated, after a while, can be a real trick.

So much to get caught up on.

[Admin]

Wow, I hardly ever come here anymore...in a way that's cool, like that lonely basement place stored away, where things are still quiet.

Like going back to home town, or city block, and things are still the same.

That's what this forum here reminds me of....stillness, a throw back to earlier times.

I like it that way actually, so please don't feel sorry for me, for the minute I become famous...well.

And fame is no good without money.

Fame + money = ability to hide from public.

But if become famous and still 'broke', and forced to live around common types, that could be hellish.

Like how movie stars have to fly 'couch' just like common types...how awkward must that be.

Every Star should have own private plane, even if turbo prop plane.

How can you be a movie star, and fly couch on United Airlines, sitted right next to Janitor??

It happens though.