Morning time thoughts

[Admin]

Anyways, I guess I should get up now, but even when up, I have no where to go, or that I want to go.
I'll just get started on large 'to do list', and see where it goes from there.
I think I'll stand on the weigh scale first though.

[Admin]

Well, it's a new day and I'm still here, amazing.
Think I'll get up, groom, get dressed, and go walk in the park.
Fitness is everything at my age.
Don't have to be in athlete shape, but it helps to at least be in hikers shape or whereabouts.

Nothing new really breaking in the news...other than the whole Iran/Israel conflict....everyone is waiting to see what Israel does.
Biden is Israels worst enemy.
The world dynamics is changing rapidly under Biden, I predicted this would happen.
Under Trump, no wars, under Biden, the world is on fire.

[Admin]

I haven't been employed for quite some time now.
I came into a small amount of money, half of which is gone now.
Two nicer used vehicles, one for me, one for my mother.
And school tuition...wow.
The plan was to beat rent, rent is a killer to most peoples money.
The plan was to get some land, and park a RV on it, and live for free.
Now the plan may be just to buy a RV...and maybe a much smaller parcel of land.
Just not sure yet.
I can make it anywhere, as long as not burdened by rent, which in many areas is like 1,500 + per months.
Imagine trying to generate 1,800 a month when older and getting tired.

So ye, either I need to take remaining money and buy some cheaper used trailer park home, or buy a RV.
But even with a RV, you still have to pay RV lot rent, unless own your own land.
Decisions decisions.

[Admin]

My hair is long enough now, where it falls into my food as I'm eating...how annoying.
I have longer hair now, but it's ugly hair..lol.

[Admin]

I just woke up this morning feeling very insecure and afraid.
Afraid of life, afraid of the challengers that lay ahead, and afraid I don't have what it takes mentally to make it.

[Admin]

I know it's about time for bed when all I do is sit and stare at things, and space off, that means brain is done working for the day.

[Admin]

I miss my old place, cause I could sit up in bed and type...cause workstation was right next to the bed, but here, I sleep on a air mattress and so can't do that.
In fact, I have to take the monitor, and place it on a chair, so can watch from the mattress.
I've got a screen projector, but haven't been motivated enough to set it up.

Anyways, time to lay down and just space off while watching some old Twilight Zone on Amazon.

[Admin]

It's early, still dark out though.
Woke up from a dream a few hours ago with a sense of urgency to just 'learn stuff'.

I'm older, and realize now how utterly far behind I am to others my age, and even way younger, when it comes to tech stuff, and terminology and more.
And now that enrolled in a film course, this is becoming even more apparent.
I have a small short window in which to prove myself, and if I don't, it will all have been for nothing, and that's scary at my age, cause I'm not going to get to many more chances to succeed at anything.

[Admin]

But hey, I'm about to lay back down and go back to sleep, but when wake up again, will spend majority of day reading and studying and learning, and writing a screenplay.

I'll be OK, as long as don't start drinking...cause your mind can't stay sharp when drinking or drunk all the time, and that's for sure baby.

[Admin]

Can't really sleep right now, or don't feel like it.

If you have a bad instructor, probably best to move on, but risks come with that, in that many instructors have industry connections, and they can make or break you with a few words, calls, etc...but at the same time, if you have bad chemistry with them, why continue?