Alcohol spectrum

[Admin]

The day before Thanksgiving is supposed to be the largest alcohol purchasing day of the year, oddly enough, today, I didn't by any booze



I didn't buy any booze today, and hopefully I won't tomorrow, when off, and spending the day alone.
I need to straighten my mind up, and drinking during the holidays, especially if and when alone, can be a bad recipe, cause you end up saying a lot of stupid stuff to others over the phone, or through texts, ect.

Naugh, this T-day, I just want to be sober, and feel my full range of emotions, good or bad or in between.

[Admin]

Drinking is bad, period, but I realize when I drink slower, the effects of drinking aren't as impacting, as in hangover the next day.

In other words, instead of guzzling down beer, if I sip beer, the effects aren't as bad the next day...hmm.

[Admin]

Some times I do think booze can help you get out of a mood slump, if there's no one else or nothing else to help you.
Not saying booze should ever be the long term plan, but let's face it, many are totally alone, and abandoned down here on earth, in society, whom others could give a dam about.

If booze can help maintain moral to such person, when nothing else can, than why not?

[Admin]

I need to stop drinking for a while, I think body has reached it's limit.
I think I over did it last week.

Muscle pain came back, lower back was stiff and sore, could barely walk upright and proper do to back discomfort (almost back to normal now)

But I just think, know, when drink to much or to many days in a row, body begins to break down.

Life is much more fun (even when things are going wrong) when healthy.

About twice a year, I just get to that point where I know I must stop drinking.
Drinking has cost me a lot, over the years; has revealed a lot to me, but has also cost me a lot as well.

[Admin]

It's Monday



It's Monday, and I feel, oh so, not so good, morally that is.
I drank beer yesterday, to much, and wow, today, it just shifted my mood.
Alcohols no good for me anymore.
It's almost like I want to die or something, cause I know it's not good, yet I drink anyways as a alternative to not being able to hide from my current reality.

Everything changes as you age, your body handles booze differently than when younger, I know mine does.
I just need to stop.
So many are dying now, who are younger than me, yet I drink, at times, yet still in decent health.

I need to stop drinking for my own sake.
Drinking is making me make irrational decisions when drunk, obligations I can't afford, and making me shirk other responsibilities.

Oh well, at least I haven't drank anything today, that's a start.

[Admin]

I just had a wake up call from my body, earlier this evening.
I was drinking beer, and I started getting a stomach ache, a slight one, which I normally never get.

Now, it could of been for many reasons, food, ect, but I took it as a wake up call to stop drinking for now and get my act together.
That, and other things going on.
I'm gonna really need my wits about me for the next for months, if I want a better future for myself.
More on that later.

[Admin]

For me, alcohol and garlic or onions, just don't go together at all, the combo makes me want to vomit.

In the past, years ago, a few, when to drunk to 'think', I'd prepare a meal while drunk, and load it up with garlic and onions, and then less than 5-10 minutes later would have a vomit fest.
Just glad I had tile floors when that occurred.

[Admin]

I think I'll drink a beer, to loosen myself up, after this long, yet meaningless day to me.
I hate driving when I'm off from work and don't have to, even if it's a rental car, I still hate the whole process of driving, I despise it actually, at least in heavy populated areas.

While everyone is fleeing to Florida, Goergia, ect, I'm looking at retreating to some acres in the country.
All I need, want, is 10-20 acres and a self reliant motorhome...that's all I need, as long as the motorhome and land is paid for, in cash, than that's all I need.

I'm so sick of the city, city people, _____ people (at least the younger generation), and just meaningless congestion....crime, litter, all of it, useless to me at this juncture of my life.

[Admin]

Sometimes in order to change your habits, even drinking, you need such a new overwhelming mission in life that you no longer have time or interest in drinking...a major shift, for sure.

[Admin]

Got a unopened can of beer sitting next to me on the table 'Pabst-Blue Ribbon', but haven't touched it yet, and probably won't tonight.
And have 2-four packs in the living room, that I haven't touched either, and probably shouldn't.
I was doing good last week at sobriety, but then, as usual, I caved, and when you cave, you cave, and actually drink more cause you feel better, but then you, I, fall back into that mood pattern, which I no longer like.

But now that I have nothing on the schedule, does it matter?

I really do need a new direction in my life, but not sure what that direction should be right now.
I don't really have much in this world to hang onto anymore.