Alcohol spectrum

[Admin]

Took a drunken bike ride last night

Took a drunken bike ride last night...I actually worked out on 3 different occassions yesterday and is why the effects of last nights drinking didn't have as heavy of effect on today, as would if I weren't in shape.

But if I keep drinking like that, I won't be in shape much longer.

I just act stupid when I'm drunk, especially if out on the streets...I confront people I have no business confronting, mainly for laughs....but it's still stupid of me to do so.

If I didn't look so menacing to others, I'd probably of gotten beat up long ago doing that crap.

[Admin]

Going through a bit of a post drinking depression right now.

I drank, don't want to say hard, but had many cans of beer yesterday night, and said some things, texted some things, that I now feel embarrassed and or even ashamed of, and that feeling has lingered in me all day long, not to mention the usual effects of having a hang over.

Although hang overs feel different as you age, with me it's more of a mood hang over and or a combo of many or a few physiological reactions.

I can usually recover more quickly, in that I happen to be in OK shape, exercise daily, which makes it worse at times, cause when you feel healthy and fit, you, or I, tend to think I can drink more...but that's not true at all.

Also, because I'm going through a post drinking emotional slump, I don't really know what my true mood is...I won't for a few more days once the booze wears off and I forget about last night and early morning today.

Time has a way of healing all, the more time separates you from a bad moment or event, the less you dwell on it, until finally it doesn't even register with you emotionally anymore....unless a truly bad event.
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And while riding bike today, got a flat tire, so had to walk like 3 miles or so to get back home.

I bike just about daily, so I'm going to have to get that tire fixed real soon, maybe tomorrow, if can find a decent bike shop, or may have to change the tire myself.

Why even have air filled tires on bikes anymore, why not just like solid foam or something, like fill the outer layer of tire with foam, that way a simply tac can't deflate it.

Anyways, not feeling any better, not even after writing this...that gloomy mood is still lingering.

[Admin]

Drinking really throws you off your game.
You can't drink and expect to progress at anything.

Drinking is for when you've already made it to the top.
But if you drink while trying to get to the top, you'll never make it there.

[Admin]

Booze can really mess you up, not just your physical health, but your mind.
I mean with booze, you can be feeling great one day, drink hard, and wake up feeling hopeless, like all is lost, as you lay there in bed trying to recover from the early morning drinking.

And the healthier you are, the more you tend to drink, cause you think that because you're healthy, you can handle more...but in reality you cannot.

I'm finding that out.

And then the urge to drink again increases, just to forget that you feel so lousy.

I really need myself right now and all my faculties, I can't afford to go down the booze drunk route, not now, there's to much at stake...way to much.

[Admin]

When I'm sober, I feel I can do anything, but when I'm drunk, or have been drinking for a few days in a row, I just feel like crawling in a hole and going away...vanishing.

You don't feel bad when actually drinking, it's the after effects where you mood gets all knocked out of place, and your outlook on life...booze induced depression.

[Admin]

I started drinking earlier...maybe 3 beers, but instead of continuing, I cooked up some potatoes and ate those instead to supplement that drinking feeling.



In other words those softly fried potatoes satisfied that thick gut feeling beer would normally give me...and I'm glad, cause drinking till smashing drunk is not something my body needed tonight, or me.

[Admin]

I ended up taking that bike ride after all

I ended up taking that bike ride after all, so glad I did.
I need to recapture the enthusiasm and vigor I had all throughout the summer, and the hope that drove me.
I want, need, that 'me' back...that happy me, no matter the odds, always happy and putting a positive spin on things, that's the me I really do need right now.

I need the me that's both mentally and physically fit, for my age, and I need the tough me.
I need a lot of me's right now to be frank, but just the positive sides.

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Where I stay, it's still relatively warm at night, so able to walk or bike even after dark. In fact, I was wearing shorts and a muscle shirt, and almost sweating.

Anyways, that's just the first step on rebuilding myself up.
If fit and confident, I can handle anything, it's when I start drinking, again, and become lazy, and paranoid, and sad and depressed, is when the world becomes to much for me to handle.

[Admin]

Continued from above...⬆️⬆️⬆️

But I'm also old enough and lived enough to know you can't totally overcome a slump in your mood overnight from one good bike ride.
It takes days, sometimes a week of bad mental and physical habits to slide into a slump, and sometimes it can take just as long to slide out of it.
But the slide out starts with one good responsible decision at a time....and you really have to want it.

When I'm down, no one, I mean no one cares, so it's not like there's anyone there to feel sorry for me...I have to remind myself of that.

When I'm in pain, no one cares, when society doesn't like you, they just don't care how you feel as long as you're not around them.

That aside, since no one cares, what's the point of getting sad and depressed when I'd be the only one feeling it?

Anyways, nights still young, maybe I can get a few more things done before I start spacing off.

[Admin]

Drinking, like drugs, makes you look ugly, makes your face sag, only drugs does it way quicker.