Alcohol spectrum

[Admin]

Amazing how one bad heavy night of drinking beer has set me back like 3 days in my progress towards health, looks, feeling good and sobriety.

[Admin]

I feel like I'm emerging from hell, after yesterdays drinking



I literally feel like I'm crawling out of hell, a place I feel I've been since all of today do to my drinking yesterday night.

It's like I literally get possessed when I drink, and a spirit comes out of me and guides me to do and say things that when sober I would not. And or even go certain places that I doubt I'd go if sober, as in a LGBTQ club.
I went to one last night...nothing happened, didn't even really meet anyone, and was there for less than 15 minutes, but the fact that I went, is what's so eerie to me.

Cause bad things happen when you leave the sanctuary of your own home, for sure, especially when in party mode....you say stupid things, people take things the wrong way, violence can occur, or you can get in a wreck and more.

Prior to yesterday I was doing so well...and most of yesterday, until around 4 pm, when I started drinking beer...shame on me...I was sober for the previous 6 days.

I didn't even answer the phone today, didn't go into the 'studio' to learn anything, ignored my so called instructor, all because I drank to much yesterday.

Again, shame on me, and today I've been sealed off from the world, and phone is still off.

Hell has had a hold of me all day long...but I'll rebound, I garuntee you that....and lessons will have been learned, for sure...hopefully anyways.

[Admin]

I'm sober, and don't know what to do with myself right now...for real.

Before, I was either working, or getting drunk...well now, at the moment, I'm not working, nor am I drunk, as such I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

Over the last few years I so related to myself, my moods, my mood cycles through either working, or getting drunk...now I"m not doing either, and kind of feel adrift within my own conscious realm.

[Admin]

Sometimes I wake up, and I really do just feel like an old soul, a soul who's still here only because I've lived a safe life, not a purposesful life, but a safe one, and is he only reason why I still seem to be here.

[Admin]

I've been sober for over a week now, yet moods are still all over the place.
Normally, when drinking, my moods are simply regulated by how drunk I am...but now that sober, it just, or I just feel a bit lost, not sure what's suppose to drive or motivate me.

When drunk, you can live a lie...you can lie to yourself about outcome or outcomes, but when sober, there's no where to retreat to and play 'pretend.'

[easyrider]

Still sober.

Health is getting better.
I think I stopped drinking just in the nick of biological time.
Sometimes you just don't realize how much burden booze is putting on your body.
I mean your organs still have to process alcohol, even if in your mind you're only drinking a few beers a day, or 6 or more.

I think once I stopped working, I lost discipline and started drinking daily, that was just to much for my system and I started seeing the medical side effects.

Soar joins, blurrier vision, non yellow urine, and other stuff that I suspect was all do to drinking.

Now that I've stopped, my life hasn't really improved, but my health has.

[Admin]

It's Saturday, and still no drink, nor do I plan to...I think tomorrow will be 2 weeks or so without a drink?

Cool...but still have a long way to go to get back in decent over all shape.

[Admin]

Cheap Amazon ordered camcorder vs higher end Canon EOS...you decide



I think both cameras did well for their perspective class.

[Admin]

If was going to drink, today was a prime day for it.

A dud day, for sure, yet again.
I think my life, for last decade, has been a dud, but drinking just made me not care...
But now that not drinking, at the moment, I see how dud my life is, which of course makes me want to drink...but not this time...I can't afford the disruption of alcohol right now, not academically or in regards to my health.

[Admin]

Wow, just had one really small mini bottle of wine, you buy at convient stores, and about 1/4 can of beer...and just that small amount has totally messed with me, my physiological awareness and mood, for the worse.

Mind you, I haven't been drinking for like the last 15 days or more, but almost felt like it again today, but after that small amount, had a change of mind and heart, and glad I did.

My body doesn't need that stuff anymore...
So what will I do with remaining beer I bought?
I'll set it out on the sidewalk or up the street at a conveint store for hobos to get.