Wasted days and wasted nights

[Admin]

Amazing how much better and whole I feel just from being off for 24 hours or so, and a few more days to go

Being off work, for me, is such a healing process, I feel better, look better, become a happier person and more.

The other day I read article of ex employee crashing car into a Walmart cause they got fired a week earlier...Walmart??...

Read story here....www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/police-recently-fired-employee-crashed-through-front-doors-drove-inside-walmart-in-concord-n-c/ar-BB1feGuW

Again, Walmart?...I didn't know Walmart was that great of a place to work, but my point is not working is what makes me happy, don't get me wrong, I love activity, I'm always active, but active in things I enjoy, mindless labor at work is not something I enjoy anymore unless there's a social element to it, as in working around attractive co-workers.

But at my job it's mainly gruffy unkept men...maybe if they were crossdressers it would make it more interesting.

[Admin]

If lost job tomorrow, I think I'd take like 2 months off and just chill, the benefit of saving your money I guess

Saving money just gives you leverage, and doesn't make you such a slave to others.

If lost job tomorrow, I'd take probably a few months off, just to chill and get to know self again.

[Admin]

This is why I'm just not your typically minded driver



I'm not your typical driver cause I want to 'live' and see so much above and beyond common flesh.

I'd of been better off if had become a musician or a actor.

[Admin]

Amazing how just one day of work can rattle you, and erase the relaxed state of mind you were in the previous 4 days off

I made it back to yard with like 4 minutes to spare, cause with electronic logs you cannot cheat...but these companies try to still stretch you to the limit, larger company's your loads are planned AI, artifiscial intellegence, so what does a computer know about traffic or contruction, or line at shipper or receiver or many other things that eat up time.

So I allowed end of shift to get me all excited and talking to self inside of truck...and these trucks do have cameras in them, a lot of trucks do now, which I have and find very intrusive..and one day I'd like to know where all that visual data goes.

Anyways, it's over, the shift, I'm home now, where it's quiet and still, but no much time to recover, just time to settle down and go to bed, but hey, when only work 3 days a week you will of course have to work longer days.

I'm just hoping soon I don't have to climb into any truck again and can make a living doing something else, trucking is just such a lonely profession, unless you 'team', and hell no to that, that' means have to basically live on the road, in truck, with another, and if I wasn't romanceually attracted to 'them', no way I'd want to be up in a small space like that with another driver 24/7...but people do all the time, mainly foreignors now, and often you see male/female couples in truck together, but if get in a fight, tensions can run high in such a small space.

Anyways, time to wind down a bit for the few minutes I get to before just going to bed.

[Admin]

When off just for one day I feel so much better, like being born again or something.

[Admin]

You stumble in after work, trying desperately to find some meaning or purpose in day for 'self' before soon going to bed, doesn't always work though.

[Admin]

Vehicle driving down wrong side of divided highway

As I turned up last roadway to where the 'yard' is, about to end shift, some vehicle comes blaring down the wrong side of 4 lane highway, it was dark, and they were headed south on the wrong side.

I had just made the right hand turn and so just pulled over to the right, to make sure what I was seeing was real, it was, and felt troubling.

I thought about calling 911, but figured by the time I did they'd of realized the mistake they made or simply would have turned off road, and or other would call, either way I proceeded to the yard to end shift.

But on the way back down that road, which would be south, I could see all sorts of emergency lights about 2 miles ahead or less, on the northbound side, which told me more than likely that vehicle rammed another vehicle or something.

I had no desire to see if I was correct, I just didn't want to see whatever was up there, could see ambulance lights, police car lights, all lanes block, so I new something bad had occurred.

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Just left me feeling odd seeing that vehicle speed on wrong side of roadway, then minutes later seeing a possible tragedy ahead.

I don't want to say it felt 'evil', but rather 'destined', which is also a bit creepy.

[Admin]

continued from above

I can't get over seeing 3 tons of steel roaring past me at a high rate of speed on the wrong side of roadway.

It was like watching 'death', destined death.

I suppose I could look it up, go to emergencies, and see if it made the news or look it up in public records, to see what occurred.

It's like when people are destined for 'death', you can feel it in the air.

It's like I saw 'death' wiz right on past me, and could of been my own had the timing been different, even though I was in a 'big truck', but still I was 'bobtailing', and that would of provided little protection, I mean with engines running you get explosions, or could.

It's also so easy, and we're so conditioned to always refer back to the devil when see an event like that.
But I don't know if 'man' needs 'the devil' to be evil, I think man is just evil on his own, unless we all have a devil contained within our minds, I mean a literal one, and when that devil gets out the cage, things that I saw last night occur.

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It's why I just don't go out anymore after dark, like never, unless right up to a corner store, other than that I don't go out at night anymore, nighttime is dangerous, but that danger is what makes it fun, when younger, that danger is what lures you out, when younger.

But I'm not 'younger' anymore, and have no one to impress, so prefer to stay in.

If I want to get wild, I get wild online instead where no one can get hurt, including myself.

[Admin]

I've got to make this long boring trip up north and back, sometimes you need to be around others to help 'vent', talk, laugh, this lonely azz job separates me from all of that, so even when at work, still no escape from my inner thoughts.

[Admin]

Get home just in time to go to bed, gee what an exciting life.