Wasted days and wasted nights

[Admin]

Got off work early do to truck malfunctioning, so now I'm home and I feel unfocused with no clear pathway....that's probably because for the last month or so, been so focused on other peoples issues, helping them out, that I've forgotten about my own pathway in life.

None of these people, relatives, I help out, spend money for, ect, would never ever do the same for me.

I was going to go back to college, and or go check out a inherited house in Savannah, and or take truck broker training classes, then all that just stopped do to other peoples issues and me getting side tracked.

I need to get back focused on self, while still strong enough to help self, cause if I'm not strong enough to help self, no one else will, and that's for sure.

[Admin]

Odd, as much as I don't like driving anymore, I may have to get off my butt and go do some real driving again, for a while, in order to save some decent money for my own future, what's left of it.
And trucking is the only way I can make the kind of money I need right now.
I have failed at every other thing (if measured by money that is) to generate revenue I need to live off of, now and in the future.

I may give trucking one more chance, we shall see and it depends.

[Admin]

Gonna get up today, groom, get dressed, try to look decent, then go off to work.
I wanted to say a lot more, but that seems to sum it up.

I don't like starting work so late, cause means I get back late.

[Admin]

Once I'm off work, and have a few days off, I never look at the clock.
I have no clocks in my place, and if not scheduled to be anywhere, I never concern myself with time.
You can't truly be free if always worried about the time.

[Admin]

Just getting home from work, oh what a day



Oh what a day, trailer brakes ceased up while in traffic, a back road, thankfully it was a 2 lane or 4 way highway.
So sat there for a while, cops came, trailer had to be towed to a Flying J, this and that, and now back home.
Never carried out mission today, oh well, stuff happens beyond my control.

Home now, mood is improving much over a few days ago.

When I'm off work for days, and if I drink liquor, liqour, even very small amounts, can really twist my mood, enhance whatever mood I'm in.

If in a loving mood, I get more loving, if in a goofy mood, I get more goofy, but if annoyed, liquor makes me more annoyed...
If I didn't drink beer or liquor, I think over all I'd be a much happier and healthier person...not that I'm not already healthy, but I always set myself back by drinking, when off, home, and emotionally bored.
--------------------------

Anyways, home a bit early this evening, so I guess I'll make a 'to do list'...
On nights that I know I must work the next day, they just never ever feel as fun.

[Admin]

Just got in and it's already near 12 mid-night, that sucks.
This job sucks, but only do it do to schedule, as of now.

Jobs that don't pay you well, then expect you to be all enthused, ye right.
Jobs that want you to be all excited about training videos, ect, admin heavy companies, while starving their workers...they just don't get it in this era of labor shortages, people won't tolerate that crap like days of old.

It's probably why, at least in the trucking industry, so many drivers now are Hispanic and Asian, and Cuban, and Haitian, and any other not born in the U.S. types.
And now with Bidens open boarder, as these migrants get acclimated, millions upon millions of new labor slaves, wages will become stagnent again in the future...thanks Biden, you selfish terrible, nation destroying puppet of a President.

[Admin]

It amazes me how little companies get to know the people who work for them

I saw a text on my phone that said 'Shift available in 20 minutes, which you like to work it?'

Mind you, this is my day off...so are you freagin kidding me!!..

When I'm off work, not scheduled to work, I don't just sit around in a state of animation, suspended from all time and life (like a unplugged robot), and simply wait around for a call from my job to fill a shift...again, are you freagin kidding me!!

When I'm off work, I live my life, that life may not be much to my employer (s), ect, but that life is the world to me...time, free time, is the world to me, regardless of how I spend that free time, but one thing for sure, whatever I'm doing during my off time, free time, I'm not being some spoken down to labor slave!!, where my opinion doesn't matter one bit, where everyone in upper managment wants to speak down to you thus stripping you of your dignity.

Fk that, why would I break the peace and tranquility, or partying, or going to the beach, or traveling or creating art, or blogging, or podcasting, or dating, or whatever....why would I suspend any of that simply to go work a long, dull, mundane, lonely shift??

No amount of money I earn during one shift is going to change my life or fiscal reality.

100 maybe 150 bucks to come in on my cherished off day is not worth it to me, not at my age.

1000's of dollars is what changes peoples lives, not a few hundred bucks here or there.

I'm not your labor slave, nor am I getting rich working for 'you', as such don't expect off work loyalty, I'm to old for that.

[Admin]

Look how utterly insulting these so called training videos are, written by those who've never driven a day in their lives, how utterly insulting



Instead of them asking veteran drivers, who have been doing this for years, for advice on training, they instead snuff their nose to 'us', and make us watch this stuff.

Volume is always on zero when I watch.
And I only watch cause mandatory.

[Admin]

Managment, go to whatever...

You don't own me, you don't know me.

[Admin]

F billionaires and the snob class, your day is coming when will be ____ onto the ____, then your money won't ____.

Condescending ____ bags...