Wasted days and wasted nights

[Admin]

I'm going to set down my work perimeter tomorrow with email to 'boss', and let them know I'm done working 4 long shifts per week, I can't have a life that way, and I don't care what their reaction is, it's my life, what's left of it, and I don't have to explain to anyone 'my needs', as long as taking care of myself, my needs don't have to make sense to anyone.

[Admin]

told boss I only want to work 3 days a week again, sorry, but I want a life now.

Loyalty is crap...want to live whatever's left of my life while alive.

Want 'relations', to make others laugh, ect...for others to make me laugh, cry and think.

Industry, endless laboring for pennies on the dollar can go to hell.

Odd how when you get older, you actually start getting younger again...

[Admin]

Not going to allow for any job to destroy me or my health

I just notice when working more days a week than off, quality of life for me goes way way down.

When off work, and still thinking about when have to return, something is wrong, and I refuse to live like that...when I'm 'off work', I need enough time to let work go, I don't need such a short time off that when off, as in when wake up on first day off, already dreading going back to work the next day or ect.

That's not going to work for me anymore, did it in the past and look where it's gotten me, no where.

I swore about 2 years ago that enough was enough, and realized if hadn't made enough money 'by now' to live comfortably, that never would, and so instead started cutting back on spending and just dicing and slicing stuff out of life to save money so that I was no longer a week to week paycheck slave.

I listened to my body, and I was right, started feeling healthier and happier again when could focus on other stuff besided mindless tasks at my job.


I have a job, not a career, but a job, there's a big difference.

A career is more of a place where you have actualy impact while at work, are apart of the decision making process, where can forge a path ahead based on your performance.

A job is where no matter how well you perform, no matter how brilliant you may be, it doesn't matter, you're just expected to complete the same taskes over and over again.

And for a person like me anyways, that's bad for my health, to be in such an enviroment more days a week than to be off is hellish to me now at this phase of life.

And I don't have to justify that to anyone.

I take care of myself, pay my own bills, and as long as taking care of self, than I don't have to justify anything to anyone.

Today will be a pivotal moment for me as I will let employer know I need what's best for me, not what's best for them.

And if doesn't go my way, I'm prepared to leave, I'm actually prepared to take up to 2 months off, heck tax return season...at this phase of life it just doesn't matter.

I'm no longer trying to career build, I have nothing else to climb.

[Admin]

Just emailed employer and told them that only want 3 day work weeks, they're longer days though, and still eat up to 16 hours of day...think about that.

I get up 1-2 hours before work, spend 95% of that time prepping for work, preparing lunch, dressing, cleaning, worthless job related stuff, then 30 minute commute to job...so even before job, 2 hours in prep...

then on job for 12 hours minimum...then repeat going home, down prepping and all...

Then get home with 1-2 hours for self, but so wore out and drained usually asleep in less than an hour or so...so basically in a 24 hour cycle, while on that schedule, have about 2 hours to self!!

That's no freagin life!!

That will kill and destroy ones spirit...

It would be one thing if had a family to take care of or if in love and trying to obtain stuff for relationship, but I have none of that so just torturing self for what???...the future??? screw the future, the future will take care of itself.

Will more than likely be to sick to enjoy the future, so 'now' is the time I have and 'now' is the time I want...no more of this crap.

All my life always trying to do the right thing for others, work hard for others, do what benefits others, always the loyal one...not anymore, cause look where it has gotten me...no where!!

Now it's 'my time'...and no one else shall have my time if it doesn't benefit me.

[Admin]

When work all the time, even your physical health begins to decline

I notice when work more than am off, even my physical health begins to decline.

Why?

Cause I don't have the time nor energy to work out like would of had more time to self, I use to jog, use treadmill, workout regulalry, and health was near perfect!!

Then gdm job starts to move in and hog all my time, then get depressed when off cause have to go back so soon, so start drinking, stop working out, immune system falls, stop taking care of personal hygene as in hair, face, ect, start becoming a slob, moral falls, spirits drop, bodies immune drops, start getting the sniffles, body aches, and more.

It's a slow death, that path is.

I'm not having it, I want my happy spirit, and my health back, and just working all the time like a field donkey won't get me there!

Only time off, enough time off to recover, to think and dwell upon other things other than job crap.

Having the time for forge new relationships, to do things that matter, to volunteer, get involved in stuff where people actually notice your personality and personal traits.

In my current job, it's like you're invisible, no one notices you, no one talks to you, you're just a tool, a useful tool, a collection of data.

Well, I'm not 'Data' from Star Trek, I do have a soul and do want to matter while I still can....and no job will ever be allowed to bury me again, or I'll simply quit and move on.

Not only that but with Covid 19 being all out there now, I don't need to be exposed to that crap for 12-16 hours a day, 4 days a week, hell freagin no.

3 days and 3 days only, if not I walk...I could use a 2 month vacation anyways.

[Admin]

It's all about where you personally are in life, and no two people are at the same spot.
There was a time when working just to work suited where I was in life, but I'm no longer in that 'spot', my spot in life has shifted and so schedule must reflect that change.
Hard work no longer teaches me anything other than I'm a sucker.

Now working hard for self, that's a whole different thing, as in if had my own farm or land, hell ye I'd be out there grinding, but would be doing it for self or those on farm with me, it would be a different dynamic.

But to just wake up daily and go grind away, use your good health, for the sake of industry, for the sake of pennies on the dollar you get in return for your health, nah, not anymore.

Would rather get a roommate, cut expenses in half and work part time than work a grueling full time job again.

[Admin]

And since no one takes care of me, not so much as a gift or card this past holiday season, than I need no ones permission to sculpt my life or schedule the way I see fit.
Haven't even had a hug in over two years, I owe no one nothing, but I do owe self a as stress free life as possible.

[Admin]

I just believe, know, that more feeds the spirit, your health, other than a pay check.
I can feel the effects of living a bland life, and it's effecting my health, I can feel the effects of long hours just sitting, or driving, alone, dealing with the stress of 'the road', then coming home, mind to shot to do anything but eat and sleep, doing that for months, years, will destroy any ones health, then turn on radio and just hear negative news updates about death and covid and how ugly politicians treat each other...that's like toxic input.

No, not having it..I see the effects it's having on me, how it's killing me slowly...not having it.

Going back to being fit and happy, which boosts your immune, was 100% healthy until this heavy schedule set upon me...not any freagin more.

Had personal projects planned, was about to volunteer my time, stuff that gives you hope, cheers, then dm job demanded more, more of what?...being alienated from the things that make me healthy??

Hell no, it stops today.

[Admin]

Blue collar workers age more poorly than white collar counter parts...duh?, 'Science Daily' article

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/07/110721163029.htm

Science daily article says what I've known for over a decade...didn't take me funding or research to know this, just studied own body and those around me.

Science daily should study me, read my posts, and learn real stuff.

[Admin]

About to text or call 'boss' again and make sure they understand that going forward I will only work a max of 3 long 12 hour plus days a week...stay tuned for the response I get...I need, want, this confrontation.

But actually they're usually pretty cool about stuff...and actually when signed on, actually did indeed sign '3 day a week' contract, so it's not like I'm stepping out of bounds...simply reminding them of the past reason I signed on.