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Post by Admin on May 20, 2024 3:15:07 GMT
In new place now, water smells like sulfer
The water sucks in this new place, smells like rotten eggs...if it's not one thing it's another.
I don't want to bathe or shower in water that smells like rotten eggs.
Why does everything just gotta suck all the time, at least for some of us.
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Post by Admin on May 31, 2024 21:36:30 GMT
Sometimes just feels weird that I'm still hereI haven't even done anything of significants in life, I can't even imagine what it's like to be Trump, or George Washington, or Tyson, or any number of inventors, billionaires, or celebrities who have lived much fuller meaningful lives than I ever will... Being a constant loser and failure can actually make you lazy after a while, cause you forget what it takes to win, the mentality and mental fitness you need to actually win. Failure can become addictive after a while, if not careful, cause you'll start forming habits around a failed life.----------------------------- Anyways, I bought this super large printer from Office Max, and I think I'll try to set it up, it's like near office size type of printer, but have always wanted one. 
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Post by Admin on Jun 8, 2024 4:23:57 GMT
Can't really sleep right now.
Laid down on air mattress, tried watching a few movies on Amazon, but it just didn't work.
I don't have the patients to get into movies anymore, most seem to just move at such a slow pace, and go on way to long.
Twilight Zone episodes (Rod Sterling) are about the perfect length for movies.
I mean who has 90 minutes of their life to sit around watching a movie anymore, I sure don't.
Even when I watch good movies, I can only sit and watch for 10-15 minutes at a time.
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That aside, it's like 12:11 am, Saturday morning...this time yesterday I was drunk, drinking or both, or maybe in bed by this time.
Is why I didn't feel so physiologically well today, post drinking depression...I really need to stop drinking cause drinking serves my life no purpose anymore, especially with what I'm trying to do.
Not sure why I'm just afraid to let my natural feelings come out...it's like getting happy and being optimistic scares me or something, and so I drink to slow things down.
Anyways, I feel like eating some spagetti, but all I have is Ramon noodles, and no sauce.
My health is holding out OK, but haven't been eating as much fruit daily, like I did when I worked, in fact haven't been grocery shopping in a while, guess just not eating as much.
Not in the most cheery mood right now, still getting used to newer smaller place.
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I don't care about my past anymore or the people in it, they never cared about me.
I don't care if they like me, fear me, hate me, whatever, just doesn't matter anymore at this stage of my life...just doesn't matter.
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Also, people, all people, just don't look as good to me as they used to, at least common people don't.
Everyone, to me, just looks so flawed now, and maybe that's what happens when get older and your lust hormones begin to decline.
I think, know, lust makes you forget how ugly and unnattractive most people are, including many women.
And I'm sure I look just as ugly and wretched to them or others as well.
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Anyways, I'm awake, but can't seem to motivate myself to do anything but sit and stare and type.
About to go into the kitchen, which I hate doing in this new place at night, cause you never know what you're going to see scurrying around, as in small roaches, small but disgusting all the same.
I kind of miss my old place, that place was set up perfectly for me, 10 plus years in the making.
New place much smaller, 1 bedroom, 1 bath, and different type of flooring.
Not sure what the future has in store for me anymore, not sure if it's anything good.
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Post by Admin on Jun 19, 2024 5:07:49 GMT
Sports mean absolutely nothing to me right now at this phase in life.
Don't care about the play offs, not basketball, hockey, baseball, or any other sport.
It's been like that with me for about the last 5 years....not sure why.
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Post by Admin on Jun 20, 2024 14:52:03 GMT
It annoys me when I see so many women, particularly urban women, wearing male athletic gear...yet these exact same women would have a fit if they saw a guy wearing female clothing, or a skirt.
Why are women allowed to cross dress wearing male clothing...no questions asked...yet if a male wears clothing designated for females, people, society, has a fit.
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Post by Admin on Jun 22, 2024 17:36:21 GMT
Interesting artist here
Wanted to save it here, before I forgot about every seeing it on YT.
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Post by Admin on Jun 22, 2024 17:46:07 GMT
Paranormal Saturday Ah yes, I designed this cover back when I used to produce paranormal Saturday podcast, those were the days. I think I was actually happier back then, just 2-3 years ago or so. Now, I don't know, I mean I should be just as happy, but, I don't know, so much has changed. Lost apartment of 12+ years, haven't worked in over 4 months, that's certainly new territory, and well, just not sure about my future anymore, not at all, in this increasingly expensive and hostile world man has created. All that being said, it's Saturday, and I slept in late, so now will get dressed and go exercise real quick to wake the mind and body up, and even the soul up.
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Post by Admin on Jun 30, 2024 1:41:14 GMT
This blog form needs some updating...Need to add a few more catigories of discussion and move some to the basement that aren't relvant anymore.
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Post by Admin on Jul 2, 2024 3:20:52 GMT
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Post by Admin on Jul 3, 2024 2:39:15 GMT
I was just about to go downtown, by the water front, and take some pictures and just take in the scenery, but then I changed my mind.
It's late, like 10:40 pm, and well, my energy surge dropped.
Sometimes if I take to long getting ready, by the time I'm ready, my mood has already changed.
Not only that, but I have better assets now, as in a nicer vehicle, and cameras I was going to take.
When you have nicer things at night, well.
Actually though, now days, who doesn't have a nice car?
Even thugs in the hood drive around in decent, newer looking rides now.
But either way, I'm staying home tonight.
Will eat some unhealthy, but tasty, roman noodles and pretty much call it a night.
But my nights are weird, If I just lay on mattress, watching TV/streaming...and if just lay there for 30 minutes, then my energy comes back.
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Sometimes I just can't believe I'm still here.
Not complaining, but I've yet to really carve out any purpose for myself in this world, other than self survival I suppose.
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