Alcohol spectrum

[Admin]

Almost gave in last night, cracked open beer, took a few sips, but then placed back in fridge, or on floor, cause was so engaged in what I was doing, and that's the key is being engaged in something so intense that you see alcohol as a distraction, and no I don't mean the 'S' word.

But as far as my health goes, don't really feel any healthier, but that's cause have a throat cold, which I think I got do to drinking which weakened my immune just enough to get the common cold.

Yes, the common cold still exists, just because corona hogs all the headlines doesn't mean the common cold has gone away.

Weight?

I've only really lost 4lbs in 10 days, maybe 5, the weight is coming off a lot slower this time.

My body and joints?

I don't know, can't tell yet.usually when drunk all the time, you just don't have time to notice aches and pains, or better yet you have the time but when drunk could care the less and are numb to it.

Either way I'm getting older, just because I stopped drinking for a while doesn't mean I'm going to feel 19 again, maybe the age reaper is finally catching up with me.

[Admin]

Update:

I've had about 5 beers over the last 2 weeks, and those beers were all done on the same day at once.

How do I feel?

Physically = I can start seeing the weight loss, not that I was 'heavy' to begin with, but heavy to self I suppose.

Also notice when stop drinking, skin becomes smoother, and you begin to look more youthful, and 'cute' to self.

As far as internally, as far as joint pain, muscle aches, ect..seems worse at times, or maybe when drinking, drinking just numbed me to normal body aches...I don't know, but now it's like I feel more stiff.

Maybe that could be do to withdrawal?, I don't know, I just know physically I don't feel 'great', I feel like my body and limbs have a million + miles on them, yet if look in the mirror you'd never think that.

I just don't know, the older you get the slower your body heals, is why I really do need to hang up drinking this time for good.

[Admin]

I think in the past, when drank when got off work, I'd be to drunk to notice how bad maybe I really felt, now that sober, I notice everything about how I feel.
That's good and bad, good in that I'll obviously try to fix it by eating better?, more rest?, I don't know, bad in that what if I can't do anything about it?
What if it's just now age related?
I just don't know, I'll give it another week, after that on day off I'll go to a nutritional GNC store or something, maybe start taking herbs?, I'll do my research, but one thing for sure I don't like feeling drabby like this.
But again, it's only when I get off work, if at home all day, I don't feel like this ever, so it may have something to do with my job, or as another said 'Low moral' at my job, cause as goes the mind so goes the body, maybe I just need a different job that makes me feel more happy.

[Admin]

I'm holding my own against not drinking, did almost have a relapse yesterday (I call it that, maybe that's to dramatic of a word to us), but I did drink about 75% of a can of beer, but then just stopped, not cause told to, (after all who is there to tell me to stop), but rather because I just wanted to, it just felt like a pointless exercise of escape.

Escape from what?

I realize no matter how many cans of beer I drank, the same ugly or stagnant reality would be there.

Quitting alcohol involves many layers of parts of you working in unison together to finally realize it's no longer good to drink all the time.
Health alone won't do it, and the mind alone won't do it.

It takes a lot of different parts of yourself working together to finally realize it's no good to drink anymore.

I'm just to the point now (at least for now), that if can't feel good naturally, than what's the point?

At least with alcohol anyways, but that's all I can do, cause job I work for randomly drug tests, but if worked for job that didn't drug test and if I lived in a weed legal State, just maybe I'd try some, who knows, I do know life is short, and in the end won't matter if you smoked weed, drank beer, were a virgin until married or if you were a porn star who slept with 100 men/women, in the end, when older, health begins to fade, none of that matters, all that ever really seems to matter is what's right in front of you at the moment, what's effecting you in the 'now'.

[Admin]

Just got done working out



Just got done working out, so why am I writing about it here?

Cause drank moderately hard last night, and even though woke up feeling the after effects, I wasn't going to let that get in the way of my fitness routine.

I've spent over a month slowly trying to get back in shape, and really alcohol is my only obvious vice.

It's a constant battle to drink, not to drink, drink, not to drink.

But If I am going to drink I'd rather be fit than unfit while doing so.

Happy new year, wow, it's 2022, 100 years ago it was 1922, oh how times have changed.

[Admin]

When fit, it makes my whole day so much easier.

I still drink, less though, but sadly I still do drink at times.

But, but, over the last few weeks have been working out again, like going to park, doing laps, ect, and I feel a big difference.
I feel better when healthy, makes job more bearable when body not aching, when muscles toned.

I'm more alert, which makes the time pass quicker while at work.

Nothing worse than being at work and feeling drowsy and unhealthy, cause the shift just seems to stretch on forever.

I think fitness is once again getting the upper hand with me.

And drinking less, or not at all, is a big part of that.

Alcohol really is destructive to the body, especially as one ages.

Best to just leave it alone.

[Admin]

Just got done working out, as if at bootcamp, personal boot camp.

I drank yesterday evening and into the night and woke up feeling the effects. In the past just would of laid there in bed stewing, not anymore, now, I don't let yesterday events spill into today's events in as far as pulling me from any healthy routines I've got established.

I went to the park and walked, fast walked, ran, threw some balls, and stretched, as if I didn't drink.

I'm probably fitter than many people who don't drink, but not as healthy as those who don't drink and also exercise.

from a 1-10, my health fitness, meaning ability to sustain a prolonged jog without feeling tired or legs feeling heavy, is probably a 3.5.

That means I have 6.5 room for improvement.



Jogging wise I'm a 3.5, but that's not bad since not a professional athlete, not bad at all.

I mean some folks who are fitness freaks would laugh at that, some folks jog like 5-10 miles a day, a day!

But I also hear that much jogging does take a toll on ones knees as they age, I personally don't think jogging over 2-4 miles a day does any good, I think at certain point one is just wearing down their body, ligaments, joints, bones, and maybe even heart.

One can be fit, while not being 'athlete fit'.

Athlete fit means you're in competition, therefore have something fiscally to gain by 'winning'.

Anyways, got other things to do, as I refuse to let yesterdays decision to drink spill into what I do or even how I feel today.

[Admin]

I wish I hadn't drank yesterday, or at least not as much as I did.

It was just beer, but wow, now today's a bust, and have to work tomorrow.

Right now I wish I could just vanish into some gigantic football stadium sized Haunted and dark Mansion, and just disappear deep within it's chambers.

[Admin]

When you're loved, you don't have to worry about whether or not you had a good or bad day, it doesn't matter, love wipes it all away.

It's only when you're not loved, or feel loved by anybody or anything, that one tends to dwell on stuff.

[Admin]

Havn't had a drink since Tuesday evening, off today, can I stay motivated without drinking today on my day off?

Can I feel happy?

I don't know, I do know body needs to heal, not that I'm unhealthy, but living in body my whole life I can tell body just needs to heal, needs to go without alcohol for a long period of time, but will my mind allow that?

The promises I made last week, while drunk, will I still want to fulfill those promises 'today', while sober?

I don't know.

I do know when sober, I'm not as passionate towards some as I am when drunk.

Passionate as in interested in who they are or what they have to say.

When drunk, I could fake love and show interest in the devil themself, but when sober, not so much.

I just don't know.

My sober self can be just as loud and bold though, but in a different way, a more sincere genuine way, I suppose.

But at least when I'm sober and get passionate about something or someone or 'a cause', I at least then know I mean it or meant it.