Alcohol spectrum

[easyrider]

I got drunk yesterday, and the night before, and it's like a different defiant spirit came out of me...one I kind of feel ashamed of now, not the spirit, but rather myself for allowing such a spirit of rebellion and mischief to come out.

[easyrider]

I'm in a odd sport right now, but sometimes time, movement and space are the only things that can heal you.
Time, movement, space and distance, is what ultimately will help heal you, or make you forget about bad moments in your life.

[Admin]

I've got to change my ways, and I post that here cause alcohol seems to be the center of everything that is wrong with my life.

Drinking alcohol, even if it's just beer, is like committing suicide in slow motion.
Mental suicide, and physical suicide.

All that is wrong with my life has to do with alcohol, even if it's just beer, cause drink enough beer on days off and it can have the same effects as liquor.

This morning, before I depart, I will cleanse place of all alcohol or beer, I mean there's just a few cans, but they will all go.
I need myself more than ever right now.
I need my mind, and I need my health, and I need to feel good, alcohol takes all that away from you, puts you in unstable moods, effects your health and so forth.

I've got to stop drinking for my own sake.
Even 'part time' drinking is no good for me anymore.

[Admin]

And alcohol makes me act unstable, one minute I like people, enthused towards them, then when sober i want nothing to do with them.
I need to clean up my life.
Not that life isn't already pretty clean, but drinking keeps life from being ideal.

[Admin]

I owe it to myself to get in better health, cause the only person bad health is effecting is me.
No one else feels the pain and discomfort but myself, and it makes life miserable.

[Admin]

OK, first 'off day', meaning first day of 4 days off from work, that I'm trying to begin my renewed sobriety commitment.
I realize now, well not just now, but I realize that life is hard, but it's even more hard when in pain and discomfort do to the side effects of drinking.
And what are those side effects?
Lowered immune system, and when have a weakened immune system do to drinking, it allows a barrage of germs, bacteria, viruses, ect, to get the upper hand on your body = pain of all kinds, joint pain, nerve pain, ect.

Are bodies are constantly being invaded by millions of germs/bacteria/viruses daily, but our bodies, when strong, fight most of it off.
But when immune dips, gets a bit weaker, do to alcohol, then here they come.

I've learned the gut, our stomaches, are where many good, bacteria fighting organisms dwell in our bodies, and are produced there, but if constantly drinking, especially as get older, I suspect the alcohol kills of a good portion of those good bacteria and other immunity cells, and as such here comes sickness, here comes getting the common cold, fevers, and whatever else.

And I could go on...but bottom line is alcohol breaks the body down in so many ways, it's so corrosive to our systems.
And well, since I'm still relatively healthy and working, I can't afford to be in pain all the time while doing my job.

I was pain free a few months ago, cause i stopped drinking for like 2 straight months or so or longer...but stupid me, once feeling whole again, figured I could start drinking again...and now back in bodily pain and aches.

But like before, the pain just becomes to distracting, and draining, to the point where drinking isn't worth it anymore, not at all.
So, I should be thankful that at least I'm healthy enough still, that my health is still in my hands, all I have to do is stop abusing my body with booze, and steer the ship back in the right direction.

We shall see.

[Admin]

So far so good, sticking to the no drinking sanction imposed on myself.
The first 3 days are always the hardest, especially when off, and between the hours of 4-8 pm, cause that's usually when I start feeling lonely, and to mask the loneliness is when I usually start drinking beers.

But body just can't take that kind of drinking anymore, it just can't, so once again I've stopped....for now.

[Admin]

I'm still drinking, but it doesn't seem to be effecting my romanceiness as much



I'm still drinking, but it doesn't seem to be effecting my romanceiness to self as much this time, maybe cause now I only drink beer, for the most part, and I've stopped drinking beer and coffee drinks at the same time, so yes, I still drink on occassion, but don't feel as crummy as I use to, mood wise, yes, but physically, you can hardly tell...unless my eyes are fooling me.

[Admin]

It can feel awkward going back and cleaning up your mess, or seeing the mess you left behind, on social media, or emails, when sober.
When drunk, so much fake sentiment comes out of a person, you brag, act tougher or weaker than really are, boast, say things, ect, that the next day you want to run from.

And it really sucks when make promises while drunk, then when sober you're like 'what the heck did I say that for?'

[Admin]

You should never interact with your boss or any other person you have a professional relationship with while drunk, cause you'll say, or display very odd, goofy sides of self that you'll be embarrassed about later.