Odd thoughts

[Admin]

Sobriety can be one scary ride, if not used to it



Sobriety can be one scary ride, for sure, if not used to it, and you realize what a shaky foundation of supposed friends, even family, and or future you've created for yourself.

Once sober, you have to decide how to make things right again, one corrective decision at a time.

[Admin]

This may sound odd but I feel like, at times, that I have to much energy and am to healthy for my age.

Like late yesterday evening as the sun set I had to go take a bike ride cause just sitting around in my place was driving me mad do to the amount of energy I had.

But even though I have energy, I'm not any happier, and that's why it feels odd.
My body may have energy, I may feel pretty healthy, but my mind is tired and weary of this world and all the uncertainty of my own future.

Even today, in a few hours, I gotta head over to a place I can't stand, drive my old pu truck across town in the heat, throw bike in the back of cab and go to this place and take a bike ride with a fella I really just cannot stand.

I was drunk when agreed to or suggested taking a bike ride instead of sitting inside of stale hot warm studio.
When I'm drunk I always suggest stuff that I later on regret when sober.
My drunk side works against my sober side, for sure, and it's been this way for years.

Even the art I create, it's usually created in the past when I was drinking or drunk, for when sober I have no desire to create such art or bring out other sides of myself.

But I guess that's what song writers in the past did or artist, or singers...many of them were high on pcp when they got on stage or recorded or wrote songs...read their biographies, you'll see.

But I'm not a million dollar artist adored by anyone other than myself when I get drunk.

If I ever move to a weed state where it's legal, maybe I'll try weed, but only from a legit store, can't trust anything from the streets anymore cause the retarded cartel be placing fetnal in it, or the Chinese do, either way street drugs just aren't safe anymore.

Anyways, the day is here, so am I, and well, that's about it.

[Admin]

To much coffee



To much coffee, to much life...slow down.

[Admin]

Should looting be legal in the time of emergencies?



In times of emergencies, should looting be legal and allowed, at least at grocery stores?

[Admin]

About to pay rent, like a dagger to the fiscal heart, a punch to the face, like someone reaching in and grabbing a big part of your soul out of you.
Rent is evil, and invention of the west.

Before the settlers came to the Americas, there was no evil rent, they brought that greed, gold loving, diamond loving, materialistic crap with them, and now we all suffer from it.

America is or has turned into a wasteland of despair, broken homes, drug use, debauchery (can't believe I spelled that right), violence and more.

City women walk around looking like goblins to me, odd looking nails and hands, and funny looking feet now also.
Some odd spirit has settled upon this nation and it isn't good.

Anyways, gotta pay rent now, is why my mood suddenly turned sour.

[Admin]

it's on thing when others hate you, but when you start to hate yourself, then what.

[Admin]

I feel disgusted with myself right now.

But I'm alive...so the only way to not feel disgusted with myself is to start making the right decisions, one right decision at a time.
And if you string enough good decisions together, your life will get better, one decision at a time.

[Admin]

Took what should have been a fairly routine bike ride, but than when way out, tire became flat, and so had to walk back, probably maybe 2.5 miles? 3 at the most.

Either way it was unplanned, took energy and cost me time.

Had a drunken night, texted some stupid stuff, and today, well today, I'm here.

[Admin]

I feel like I'm dead right now...living but dead.

Or I'm just here, but not living or alive.